So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
