oh fat girl friday strikes again...
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
