We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Terrible idea I love it
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
