And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
