i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
