I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
They took my balls.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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