is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i came on her dog
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Is her dick bigger than yours?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
