Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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