We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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