but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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