His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
