? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
