The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
