but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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