I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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