Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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