The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
My liver just had a heart attack.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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