She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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