Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
