Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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