It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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