drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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