Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
