Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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