there was a trapeze. enough said
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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