I got chris browned last night
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
