I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I cut my penus on the lid.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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