So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
