I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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