I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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