just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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