I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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