thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize
