went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
