Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
