You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
