I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
