There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
