Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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