Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
