...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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