Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
