You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
