Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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