Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
we're making bets on your personal life
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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