I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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