No, you can still breathe under the balls.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
