She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
