I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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