i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Will exercising make me less horny?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
