So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
