I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
